Saturday, August 1, 2015

Year 2015 Lists: Movies Watched in 2015 Half-Year Edition

The Heat--Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in a typical cop movie, except the typical cop movie has at most one woman in it, and she's never given the funny lines.

We Are the Best!--Three Swedish middle-schoolers form an awful punk band while their tween drama slowly reaches critical mass.

Horns--Daniel Radcliffe grows a rack of firey ram's horns and develops psi powers when he is accused of murder.  I also do that.

Frank--MICHAEL FASSBENDER.  A band full of crazy people is infiltrated by a sub-par but EARNEST musician.  He becomes obsessed with another band member's paper mache head.  5 STARS MICHAEL FASSBENDER

Moonstruck--Cher plays a middle-aged romantic who has given up on finding love.  Nicolas Cage's hair is the broody love interest.  YESSSSS

The Mirror Has Two Faces--This used to be my One Romance Movie.  Now that I have found see above, I have two.  Contains actual math.

John Wick--So basically, don't kill Keanu Reeve's dog.

A Bunch of Movies Where Someone Wanders Around a "Haunted House" and Searches for Jumpscares--This plot needs to die.

Babadook--I don't think "scary" movies work on me.  But at least it is not see above.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night--Remember, just because you are a vampire now doesn't mean you shouldn't wear your hijab.

Miss Granny--I...

Mad Max Fury Road and Beyond Thunderdome--My veins are now running PURE AWESOME.

Young Doctor's Notebook--An old doctor (Jon Hamm) recalls his youth (Daniel Radcliffe) while trying not to hate himself too much.  Young self makes it very difficult...

Snowpiercer--In a world of snow, the entire human population lives on a moving train, and boy are they angry about it.  Premise Plausibility Rating:  China Mieville.  Punch, fight, fight, suffer, horrible realization (TM), fight, brood, blahdity blahdity blah.

What We Do in the Shadows--Four vampires are in "a flatting situation" in New Zealand.  This movie makes me very happy.

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