The Heat--Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in a typical cop movie, except the typical cop movie has at most one woman in it, and she's never given the funny lines.
We Are the Best!--Three Swedish middle-schoolers form an awful punk band while their tween drama slowly reaches critical mass.
Horns--Daniel Radcliffe grows a rack of firey ram's horns and develops psi powers when he is accused of murder. I also do that.
Frank--MICHAEL FASSBENDER. A band full of crazy people is infiltrated by a sub-par but EARNEST musician. He becomes obsessed with another band member's paper mache head. 5 STARS MICHAEL FASSBENDER
Moonstruck--Cher plays a middle-aged romantic who has given up on finding love. Nicolas Cage's hair is the broody love interest. YESSSSS
The Mirror Has Two Faces--This used to be my One Romance Movie. Now that I have found see above, I have two. Contains actual math.
John Wick--So basically, don't kill Keanu Reeve's dog.
A Bunch of Movies Where Someone Wanders Around a "Haunted House" and Searches for Jumpscares--This plot needs to die.
Babadook--I don't think "scary" movies work on me. But at least it is not see above.
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night--Remember, just because you are a vampire now doesn't mean you shouldn't wear your hijab.
Mad Max Fury Road and Beyond Thunderdome--My veins are now running PURE AWESOME.
Young Doctor's Notebook--An old doctor (Jon Hamm) recalls his youth (Daniel Radcliffe) while trying not to hate himself too much. Young self makes it very difficult...
Snowpiercer--In a world of snow, the entire human population lives on a moving train, and boy are they angry about it. Premise Plausibility Rating: China Mieville. Punch, fight, fight, suffer, horrible realization (TM), fight, brood, blahdity blahdity blah.
What We Do in the Shadows--Four vampires are in "a flatting situation" in New Zealand. This movie makes me very happy.