Let's Play Saint's Row II: Part IV

The boyos have cleared out by the next day.  I have a feeling they are upset I wasn't observing Purple Day.

The key to obtaining a car is to wait at a red light and then hop in when someone stops for you.

Fist bump.  Close in.  Pat pat on the back.  That's the way we roll.

I am so jealous of Johnny's cool tattoos.

I need to get a grill, too.

Okay, try not to scream.  I need to show you something.  It's...it's called a pony tail.

Aisha kicks us out when we start talking about forming a crew.

Seriously?  This is where you think we should hole up?

I don't know about this...

Well, as long as there's strippers.

We just have to clear out a few squatters and the place is ours.

I decide to class the place up a little.  Ugh.  Fire whoever made this logo!  NOT WITH A GUN.

"Boss, we'll wear whatever you say, but the purple is non-negotiable."

*sigh*  A'ight, fine.

Let's Play Saint's Row II: Part III

This is my bro, Johnny.  We've known each other since Kindergarten, when, judging by the age gap, he was the principal.

We grab a convenient car to drive away from the courthouse.  The police are kind enough to give us a 13 car escort away from the scene.

We arrive at the Forgive and Forget--Your One-Stop Shop for Salvation in a Flash!  Here the police leave us.

They are busy anyway after my attempt at learning how to drive.

OHBOY  A crib of my own.

I notice part of the prison I have recently occupied is also for rent.  One day...

Johnny Gat jacks another car then leaves me in the rain to check in with his girlfriend Aisha.  It's time to make a quick buck.

He says property values are way too high.  He hasn't been able to move real estate for months.  He has access to a sewage truck, so he wants me to...you know.

Actually, no.  What?  What are you implying here?

You have got to be joking.

You need to devalue real estate, and this is the first plan that springs to mind?

Crack heads immediately move into the neighborhood and start a synchronized pilates routine.

Now that it's stopped raining...both kinds...now that it stops raining you want me to come over.

No one will give me a car.  You are clearly too dead to drive.  Let me in!  :(

Some day I will own this lighthouse...

Classy neighborhood.

Oh, right.  It's my neighborhood.

'Sup boys.  Nice of you to hold down the fort all this time.

So...this is the "office area."

A whole night of sewage spraying, and I don't even have enough to replace the bed.  Thug #1 doesn't want me to anyway.  He thinks this option is simply too Mustard.  Perhaps a Dull Wheat or a Flaxen Whisper would be better?  I'm too tired to argue and just fall asleep.

Let's Play Saint's Row II: Part II

Time to upgrade the look.  OH YEAH!  I get a cap that says FUZZ on it just so's everyone knows I'm a fan of the law and not a fugitive from justice.

Second priority after clothes is beer.

Someone interrupts my quality TV time.

He must want a bottle upside the head.  (Not pictured:  bottle upside the head.)

Meanwhile across town, Judge Judy here is convicting my homeboy of 300 counts of murder.

I decide to speak now and never hold my peace.

Scuze me buddy, lemme help you with your door.

I'm sure we've all made this face when holding cops at gunpoint from time to time.

Hey, Johnny, ol' buddy!  300 counts of murder, eh?  Pshaw!  Who hasn't from time to time?

We'll be out of your hair momentarily, ma'am.

Let's Play Saint's Row II: Part I

Character creation is interesting.

The perfect expression.

I can't believe this "Video Game" has such a small max boob size.

They didn't like my power, so they put a bomb on my boat.  Now I've been in jail in a coma for years.

My hommie got himself shanked so he can fill me in on the deets.

Time to get out of here and reclaim my city!

My plan may or may not involve four pimps and a crooked appliance repairman.